Separating at bedtime can be a source of great anxiety for babies and children.  Whether cosleeping, which the American Association of Pediatrics advises against, or sleeping independently, establishing a solid bedtime routine will help create a sense of security in your baby and make your nights much easier.

Pick a start time.
A bedtime routine (excluding bath time) should only last about 10 minutes for infants and 15 to 30 for toddlers and older children.  Be sure to start the routine around the same time every night to create a pattern for the baby; she feels the rhythms of the day and picks up on clues that bedtime is approaching.

Warm Bath
Just before the bedtime routine begins and after you have fed her, take a break from your tasks and give your baby a warm, relaxing bath.  It needn’t be particularly long; in addition to cleaning baby, the goal is to create a ritual so she starts to feel sleepy because she realizes the bedtime routine has started.

Dim Lights and Quiet Room
Baby will settle down much easier if she senses her environment is calm.   Turn on a lamp in the nursery and turn off the overhead light.  Have the person watching TV in the living room turn down the volume so there is only muffled sound in the nursery.

Short and Sweet Activity
Pick a brief activity to do with the baby.  Whether that is singing songs, reading a book, or looking at a photo album together, find something with a definite beginning and end that will only take up to 5 minutes or so.  Setting a time limit is especially important because, as baby matures, she will ask you to stay longer.  If she knows that time’s up means time’s up, she won’t try too hard to keep you in the room longer.

One Last Check
Make sure your baby has a dry diaper and is not feverish or too hot or cool for the room’s temperature.  If she is fussing, it may be that she knows she is about to be separated from you.  As long as she is not in distress, do not worry.

Goodnight Kisses and Leave!
Give your baby comforting cuddles and kisses, put her in her crib, turn out the light, and leave!  She may cry for a few minutes the first night, but the crying will diminish as baby grows accustomed to her very predictable routine (usually after 3 days or so).

Routine, Routine
Once you have started your routine, stick to it!  There will be times when sticking to the schedule is not possible or practical; but if you miss a night in the beginning, it’s likely you will have to start all over again.  That means crying does not taper off, and it may even worsen.